Character Quotes, Dellani Oakes

Character Quotes from Conduct Unbecoming by Dellani

character-quotes-image“Who’s riding with me?” Jasper asked, taking his car keys in hand.

“Who invited you?” Aileen asked, her tone cold.

“I did,” Nadeya said, taking Jasper’s arm. “He makes me feel safe, Aileen. Really safe, like Teague.” She sniffed, turning her head aside.

Aileen touched her gently on the shoulder. “Okay. He goes.”

“I have an appointment in a couple hours,” Vivica said. “The florist,” she explained.

Teague wound his fingers in hers, pulling her close for a kiss. “I gotta do this, babe.”

“I know, Teague. If you did anything else, I’d shoot you—but in a totally non-lethal way.” She grinned at him, nipping his lip.

“Yeah, God forbid she nail you in the junk,” Jasper commented as he led Nadeya to his car.

“And deprive myself?” Vivica countered as she walked to the truck. “Not on your life. I’d wound him enough to make him limp, but not enough to impede his performance.”

© 2017 Dellani Oakes

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Character Quotes, Dellani Oakes, Karen Vaughan, Rachel Rueben, Ruth Davis Hays, Sassy Sarcasm

Sassy Sarcasm with Dellani, Karen, Rachel and Ruth

We’re doing something a bit different today. Instead of just one author, you’ve got FOUR! There’s a reason for this, so please bear with us but a moment and read on.

Sassy Sarcastic
Sassy Sarcasm

Sarcasmˈ/särˌkazəm/ Noun: The use of irony to mock or convey contempt. Synonyms: derision, mockery, ridicule, scorn, sneering, scoffing….

And the list goes on. It’s important to define this word, because not everyone knows what sarcasm is, but we all use it to one degree or another. I’m convinced my family would be unable to communicate without it. In fact, my youngest son was, without doubt, the most sarcastic five year old in his kindergarten class.

Sarcasm is a tool that, when used properly, can add interesting dimension to an author’s dialogue. Imagine your favorite characters on a TV show or in a movie, chances are, they’ve got a snarky side. These characters, and their lines, are memorable because they really spice up the chitchat. This witty repartee is fun to listen to, read and to write. I’ll be honest, I don’t think my characters could communicate without sarcasm, either.

I’ve been told I’m sarcastic. I shall neither confirm nor deny this allegation. Instead, I’d love to share some of my work with you and you can judge for yourself. Over the next few weeks, a few of my (supposedly) sarcastic friends are going to talk about using sarcasm in our work and in life. Rather than giving them a big introduction, I’ll let their work speak for them. If you’d like to find out more about these ladies, click the Guilty Parties link above.

Sit back, sip your favorite beverage, (I find that sarcasm is best with lemonade, but you be the judge) and be prepared for some dry humor, wise cracks and a tad bit of sarcasm. Just a little…not too much….

© 2017 Dellani Oakesdellani photo dark red

Undiscovered – Dellani Oakes

Someone wants movie producer Kent Griswald dead. Unfortunately, the first attempt is foiled by the fact that it’s not Kent on the beach, but his younger brother. In broad daylight, in front of dozens of witnesses, someone takes a pot shot at Connor. Detectives Weinstein and Scott are dispatched to investigate.

Detective Vanessa Weinstein came on the scene ten minutes after the shooting. Aggressive and competitive, she was an up and comer. She knew how to play the game and used her femininity to her advantage. Dressed in a black power suit and a very white shirt, she stood out clearly on the beach. Somehow, in some mysterious way that Walter Scott couldn’t explain, the woman didn’t sweat. Her black hair was sleek, unmoving in the wind off the ocean. Her skin was perfectly dry, not even a bead of sweat on her full lips.

Undiscovered by Dellani Oakes - 200

“The rest of Daytona’s in hell in this late season heat wave and you stand there looking like the Sugar Plum Fairy,” Scott complained, wiping his face with a handkerchief.

“Don’t sweat in my crime scene,” she said in a bored tone. “What’s going on upstairs?”

“Got two perps, one actual shooter, one decoy. Second guy left his weapon. Your guy left a shell casing. Looks like both had the same kind of gun. No serial numbers on mine.”

“Why would they make it easy? You didn’t find my gun, huh?”

“Nope. But the shell’s a 5.56mm, so we’re figuring they both had identical weapons. MSSR.”

She nodded, taking a sip of hot coffee from an insulated mug. Scott slurped water from a rapidly warming bottle and wiped his brow on his fist.

“Jeez, can we at least get outta the sun? I’m gonna fry.”

“You should try getting a tan, Walt.”

“I’m Scottish and Scandinavian, Ness, I don’t tan. You could put me out here all day, I’d burn red as a beet.”

“They’re purple.” She moved into the shade of a cabana bar where they’d set up their command center.

“Whatever.”

© 2017 Dellani Oakes

KAREN TIMMYS 2013

Dead Men Don’t Swing – Karen Vaughan

My characters wield sarcasm like well-sharpened sword. Laura Hamilton Fitz uses sarcasm to deal with sticky situations when faced with bad-asses trying to kill her and annoying people she has no patience for. Many people will tell you she has an attitude but as a busy mom, CSI and corpse magnet extraordinaire. (see I used sarcasm there) Laura doesn’t have time for BS.

Stella is Laura’s nemesis (next to her mother of course) and knows how to push the girl’s buttons. I am surprised that Stella herself hasn’t made it to Laura’s hit list…. Anyway, in one scene from Dead Men Don’t Swing Laura puts Stella in her place after the pest gives her a hard time about doing a eulogy for a dead, and might I add, not well liked tenant.

Dead Men Don't SwingI went down the hall to the laundry room. I couldn’t even fathom doing a load before checking the traps and washing out all the machines before using one. I was just putting my loads in when Stella flounced in. I gave her a look that said, “Don’t start lady.” She’s either dense or doesn’t care and got on my case about the eulogy.

Ya know Stella, you’re usually an astute woman but right now you are down to two brain cells and they are limping. I am only going to say this once, so listen closely! You can shove your eulogy! I don’t know the guy. The other tenants aren’t being forthcoming with details except for stuff I refuse to put in a tribute to the dead man. I also don’t have the time for this crap and it’s not my job.”

© 2017 Karen Vaughan

Ruth Davis Hays

Ruth Davis Hays – Translations from Jorthus Series

Tools of the trade Sarcasm can be a fun and useful tool. It can be brought up in different ways. It can be presented in the narrative to express a character’s particular view of the world:

High school locker rooms. Every kid’s favorite place. The arena to expose our physical flaws to our worst critics like exposing our jugular to a vampire. (Watchdogs, a young adult novella in progress)

Or it can be a personality trait displayed in speech:

The Illusion by Ruth Davis HaysA snow storm in the desert? Nothing out of the ordinary here!” Keinigan tried to pry a laugh from his dour companions.

Yet, his question was taken in earnest by the good dravan scholar, who proceeded to educate him on climate aberrations and how a reoccurring anomaly marked over a span of documented time can be construed as an ordinary pattern.

Keinigan groaned and pulled his cloak down over his head to block the freezing winter winds. The amount of snowfall was indeed strange for this area, but he made a mental note not to attempt humor around Master Calbraum anymore. (The Illusion, a Jorthus novel in progress)

My favorite, from time to time, is to use it to quickly convey a relationship between characters:

Before Dharromar could open his mouth, Keinigan’s fist smashed into his jaw. When the stars cleared from his brain, he was blinking up at his attacker. “I get the feeling you’re not happy to see me,” the changeling groaned from the dirt.

Actually, I’ve been waiting to do that for a long time.”

Feel better?”

Little bit. You?”

Wonderful. Your concern for me is truly touching. Now if you really want to be a help, you could come down here and suck my bolls.”

Maybe later. I’m too busy celebrating.” Keinigan shuffled around the tent randomly as he listened to the voices of Lylith and the magda councilors filtering through the fabric. “Didn’t you hear? The changeling has returned to save us! Hoorah! The darquone are already retreating just hearing you’re back. I feel folching fantastic!” (The Illusion)

When the bite of sarcasm is set in contrast to more sincere narrative or dialogue, it stands out to the reader and punctuates either the writer’s opinion of the character or the situation. I find it incredibly irresistible at times, but must remind myself to read it not as intended but as written, in order to find out if the words are successful. If the sarcasm does not come across, either I am not doing my job or I need to rethink my use of the tool.

© 2017 Ruth Davis Hays

Rachel Rueben

Fedelta – Rachel Rueben

Disheartened, Cassie began to make a quiet retreat when she turned around and saw a homeless man who put his hand over her mouth and dragged her towards an abandoned building behind the brownstones. Biting his hand, and elbowing him in the face, she managed to free herself from his grasp. Turning around, she kicked him right in the yam bag when the homeless guy yelled in agony, “Damn’ it Cass!”

Doing a double take, she looked closer at him only to realize it was Amato. “Jesus, John, what the hell you doing walkin’ up on me like that?”

Tryin’ to get you out of trouble!” he said through gritted teeth. Doubled over, Amato took deep breaths trying not to vomit in the alley.

Blushing, Cassie tried not to laugh. She was tempted to apologize but that wasn’t happening. Besides, it was nice to know she could still handle herself even in her messed up condition. A few minutes passed before she asked, “Ya gonna be alright?”

Fedelta 2He looked up at her bewildered, “No wonder we broke up.”

Shrugging her shoulders, she answered right back, “Not every man can handle a strong woman.”

Not every man wants a ball buster.”

Straightening up, Amato signaled for her to follow him as he limped away. Not feeling all that great herself, was starting to feel a sharp pain in her head. She had forgotten to take her meds and was now paying the price for it. As the two of them hobbled away from danger, the sounds of the city permeated the air playing a soundtrack to this ridiculous love story. Sirens, barking dogs and Amato’s bitching rang loudly in Cassie ears as she wondered how the hell they were ever gonna make it through this?

© 2017 Rachel Rueben

Join us the 15th of every month when one (or more) of us will share snippets of our stories — focusing on sarcasm, of course! We will comb through our work and find the best bits for you. You have our promise on that! Would we lie to you? ~Dellani

Character Quotes, Dellani Oakes

Character Quotes from The Ninja Tattoo by Dellani

character-quotes-imageVivica grabbed the dogs off Teague since they had progressed to smelling parts of him better left alone. The smallest was a Jack Russell.

“That one is Pesky,” Vivica said as the little one leaped four feet in the air trying to get in Teague’s arms. “The middle child is Evita and the big one is Rex.”

“Hello Pesky, Evita and Rex,” Teague said, scratching them all behind the ears.

Pesky followed him, still trying to get him to hold her. He finally picked her up and she yipped delightedly. Evita licked his shoe and Rex sat opposite him staring. He looked like he was part something very large, like an Irish Wolfhound or possibly a horse. Evita looked like a beagle blend. They all seemed to accept him, delighted at his presence. While he held Pesky, winning her over completely by rubbing her belly, Vivica made coffee.

“I hope you don’t have to get up too early,” she said.

“I can be a little late with Scott. He’s not an early riser anyway and he’ll understand once I tell him why I’m late.”

“Oh? What will you tell him?” Her green eyes held a reprimand, thinking he would make fun.

“I’ll tell him I was getting to know the most beautiful woman in the world.”

Her eyes and smile softened, her lip trembling as tears threatened to fall. “You have this way of blindsiding me with compliments, Teague McMurtry. Why are you so damn adorable?”

He smiled, his voice dropping into the delicious, dark chocolate range. “It’s easy to compliment a woman when all I have to do is tell the truth. You are beautiful, vivacious, magnificent, stunning and seductive.” He set the dog down, walking over to where she stood. “I want you to tie me up in your hair and never let me go.” He took handfuls of her hair, bringing them to his lips, inhaling deeply as he buried his face in her dark tresses.

© 2017 Dellani Oakes

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Character Quotes, Dellani Oakes

Character Quotes from Somewhere Out There by Dellani

character-quotes-imageSomewhere Out There is, for lack of a better term, an urban fantasy. I’m not sure where the idea came from, but here it is. Ross Abernathy has experienced something strange and wonderful. He’s trying to make sense of the completely senseless.

“Do you see anything?” A man’s voice called from a short distance.

“Not a thing,” another replied. This one was deeper. “What do you think it was?”

“There’s blood here,” the first voice declared. “And broken ground. What the hell?”

Blue-bright flashlight beams moved erratically, swinging back and forth, up and down. Blessedly, their revealing light missed his position entirely. His legs didn’t want to bend yet, so the only cover he could take was behind a tree.

“Weirdest shit I ever saw,” the first voice declared. “I swear, it was a guy. Just—falling.”

“You’re seeing things, Milt. I told you that shit you smoked was too strong.”

“Pot doesn’t make you hallucinate, idiot.”

“You claim to see a man fall outta the sky and I’m the idiot?” the second speaker made a rude noise.

“There’s blood here. It’s fresh. Something happened.”

“A person wouldn’t just get up and walk away,” the second speaker declared.

“Do you see anything?” A man’s voice called from a short distance.

“Not a thing,” another replied. This one was deeper. “What do you think it was?”

“There’s blood here,” the first voice declared. “And broken ground. What the hell?”

Blue-bright flashlight beams moved erratically, swinging back and forth, up and down. Blessedly, their revealing light missed his position entirely. His legs didn’t want to bend yet, so the only cover he could take was behind a tree.

“Weirdest shit I ever saw,” the first voice declared. “I swear, it was a guy. Just—falling.”

“You’re seeing things, Milt. I told you that shit you smoked was too strong.”

“Pot doesn’t make you hallucinate, idiot.”

“You claim to see a man fall outta the sky and I’m the idiot?” the second speaker made a rude noise.

“There’s blood here. It’s fresh. Something happened.”

“A person wouldn’t just get up and walk away,” the second speaker declared.

© 2017 Dellani Oakes

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Character Quotes from Love on the Catwalk by Dellani

character-quotes-imageThings were starting to heat up when my phone rang. I couldn’t imagine who it was this time on a Sunday. I answered without looking, distracted by Jeff.

“Yes?”

“Oi, love. You okay?” It was Brent.

“I’m fine, Brent. How are you and Shaine?”

“Peachy. They said on TV that power’s off in much of the city. We’re checking on everyone to be sure they’re okay.”

“I’m fine.”

“Excellent. Call if you need us, yeah?”

“Will do. Thanks, Brent. Love to Shaine.”

“Thanks. And you give what’s his name a kiss-kiss and huggles,” he said in his girlie voice.

Laughing, I hung up. “Sposed to give you kiss-kiss and huggles from Brent.”

“Yeah, I want that,” he said in a nasty tone.

“Are you mad? Jeff?”

“No. Just horny.”

© 2017 Dellani Oakes

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Character Quotes, Dellani Oakes

Character Quotes from Love, Death and Pizza by Dellani

love death and pizza cover 2“How would Detective Sergeant Hart know about the affair?”

“Because I told him. Amy knew because, obviously, she was there.” Stop being a smart ass.

“Obviously,” Simpson stifled a chuckle.

“So, was it because of Amy Carmichael that you killed Tack?” Bartolli tried hard to throw me off with that question.

I’d been expecting something like that, so I just looked at him.

“I didn’t kill Tack.” My smile was open and bland. Suck that, boys.

“Some folks seem to think you did,” Bartolli countered.

“Some folks tend to exaggerate.” I smiled politely.

© 2017 Dellani Oakes

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Character Quotes from Alton & Velda by Dellani

character-quotes-imageVelda punched Alton in the chest. Choking on his words, he frowned at her.

“Enough of your tales of debauch. He stole it,” she told Astrid. “He might look and speak like a knight, but he’s got secrets that are better left undiscovered.”

“I didn’t steal this,” Alton protested. “It really was a gift. If it’s stolen, it won’t work. It’s just any old bag then. Only the true owner can work its magic. And I paid a heavy price for it, my girl,” alton croppedhe directed at Astrid. “She’ll have you thinking I’m a thief and womanizer—”

“You’re that in spades,” Velda snapped. “Not a thief, so much, unless stealing a girl’s innocence ranks among the punishable laws of the land.”

“They were all willing,” Alton replied with a scowl.

© 2017 Dellani Oakes

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Velda

Character Quotes, Dellani Oakes

Character Quotes from Undiscovered by Dellani

Undiscovered by Dellani Oakes - 200Beach Patrol officers cleared the crowd and she glimpsed someone lying spread-eagle on the sand, a blaze of red on his chest. Hearing sirens outside, she tore herself away and hurried downstairs. Two uniformed officers arrived in the lobby just as she got off the elevator. Cadence approached, identifying herself. The officers went with her to the fourth floor.

“He ran down the stairs?” The first officer asked.

“Yes. He was in the apartment I was showing. He ran along the corridor and into the stairwell.”

“We’ll need to dust it for prints,” the second officer said, then spoke into his radio.

“I doubt you’ll find anything. He was wearing gloves.”

“You could tell from a distance?” The second officer sounded skeptical.

“He was only a few yards away. Besides, they were black. He also had on a black ski mask.”

“Way to be inconspicuous,” the first officer said with a smirk.

© 2017 Dellani Oakes

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Character Quotes, Dellani Oakes

Character Quotes from Bank on Love

character-quotes-image“I hope you’re hungry. I can’t eat this much by myself,” Violet said.

“I’m starving. I missed breakfast and lunch,” Claude admitted.

“Don’t you eat breakfast?”

“I’m about as domesticated as a wombat. My breakfast is usually whatever cookies Susanna brings and coffee.”

“That’s terrible!”

He shrugged. “I’m lazy and I can’t cook.”

“Anyone can make toast, Claude.”

“Wanna bet?” He held out his hand, grinning. “Point me toward the toaster and be ready with the fire extinguisher. I guarantee, I burn it. I can make a great pot of coffee and I’m moderately adept with Pop-Tarts.” He opened all the containers. “Got plates?”

© 2017 Dellani Oakes

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Cereal Authors, Dellani Oakes

Character Quotes from Shakazhan by Dellani

Shakazhan frontWil focused his eye on the beast, searching for the most vulnerable target. Motioning the others back, Wil took a few steps forward. The cat lowered its head, eyeing him with both anger and hunger. Wil’s feral grin spread slowly as he faced down his foe. His lip twitched in a snarl of his own.

“That’s right, you big pussy. Come and get me,” Wil growled as he crouched.

The cat snarled, glaring at the puny human crouching in front of it like wounded prey. Shaking its head, it roared the challenge, revealing a second set of teeth.

“You must have a hell of a dentist bill,” Wil quipped. “Come get me, bad boy. Your mother’s a carpet!” He bellowed. “You’re gonna look great on my floor. Come get me, you walking trophy!”

It didn’t really matter what he said, it was the defiance in his voice that he counted on.

“Come on….” he urged quietly.

The big cat circled, making up its mind. Wil saw a flicker of decision in the large, amber eyes.

© 2017 Dellani Oakes

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