Character Quotes, Dellani Oakes, Uncategorized

Character Quotes from Something New by Dellani

Something New second cover“Everyone wants you, kid. How does that make you feel?” God asked.

“Terrified. It’s like being the tenderest steak in the shop. Everyone wants to grill you and have a bite.”

“Couldn’t have put it better myself. We’ll get you ready, no fear. I hear you’re some sort of genius at memorizing.”

Austin didn’t bother to ask how he knew. God knew everything. “Yes, sir.”

“Gordon. Or God, your choice.” He winked. “You,” he pointed at Dwight. “Can you type?”

“Hundred words a minute.” He wiggled his fingers rapidly.

“Excellent. Sam-u-el!”

“You bellowed, God?” The older man appeared once more, hands folded in front of him.

“Have we anything to type upon?”

“Only a top of the line laptop in your office, sir. Shall I fetch it for you, dah-ling?”

“Bastard,” Gordon chuckled. “Please. And we could use your help, old thing.”

“Already on it,” the older man said. “One moment.”

© 2018 Dellani Oakes

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Character Quotes, Dellani Oakes, Sassy Sarcasm, Uncategorized

Slightly Sarcastic…. by Dellani

Sassy Sarcastic

Last month, Rachel Rueben shared a post which stated, in part, that children can understand sarcasm by age six. It also said that people with frontotemporal dementia lack the ability to understand it. I wasn’t terribly surprised about the comment about children. My granddaughter, who turned 9 in September, is possibly the most sarcastic child on Earth. I can’t confirm this scientifically, because I don’t know every child on Earth. However, I do know my granddaughter, and she’s extremely sarcastic. (You see my line of reasoning, it’s sound—ish) Considering that she comes from a long line of sarcastic people: her parents, their parents and their parents, it’s really not surprising. It will be interesting to see how her little sister fares in this sarcastic environment. I lay bets that the younger one will be even more scathing and sarcastic than her older sister. But give her time, okay? She’s only six months old.

Speaking of children, which we were in the previous paragraph, as well as higher brain functions, I thought I’d share a couple of quotes with you which deal with one or the other. (Yes, grasping at a straw for a theme. Get over it, it will continue until Doomsday, or possibly Lent, depending upon which comes first).

From Blacksmith’s Heart

Hana Sutherland is visiting a dude ranch, with her Great Aunt Enid, who is recovering after a stroke. While there, she meets Jasper Flying Eagle. They take a real shine to one another. He invites her to go for horseback ride, then starts giving her instructions like she’s a child. Hana finds it amusing, but a little annoying, as well.

“What time do you want me to be ready?” Hana asked.

“Around ten. Oh, and cover up more. Jeans and a long sleeved shirt, boots and a hat. You’ll also want your sunglasses and some sunscreen. You’re too fair to be out without it at midday,” Jasper replied.

“Yes, Papa, I promise to dress warm.” She winked at him.

He ducked his head, not meeting her eyes. “I just want you safe, Hana Belle.”

She took his hand, squeezing his fingers gently until he looked at her. “I know, I’m just teasing. You’ll have to spend more time with me so you can learn to tell the difference. About the only way my family knows how to communicate is with sarcasm.”

Jasper chuckled, glancing at her Aunt Enid. “Oh, I’d never noticed the sarcastic bent. Must come from your mother’s side.”

“I’m sure that’s where she gets it. It couldn’t possibly come from a sweet old thing like me.”

From Beach Babe

Fiona Cartwright is an actress, though not very famous yet. She’s in Florida, filming a new TV show, when her brothers come to visit. She, her boyfriend, his brother and hers all go to the grocery store. The teenage bagger recognizes her from a horror movie she was in a few years ago, and can hardly speak, he’s so excited to meet her. (The fact that she’s tall, blonde and beautiful might factor into his attraction.) Her brothers are stunned, and somewhat upset, by his reaction to her.

Kyle said with a smirk. “Damn, baby sister! I never thought of you as a sex symbol.”

But that boy sure does,” Rich added with a shift of his shoulders. “Dammit, you suppose Jessica Alba’s brother feels like I do right now?”

Like you want to throttle him?” Kyle asked as he opened the car. “If she’s got one, pretty damn sure he does.”

There wasn’t a lot of talk in the car until we were out of the parking lot.

That was a strange experience,” Rory said. “Fame, eh? What’s your opinion on that, Fiona?”

Not sure yet, Rory. I guess we’ll find out. And that boy didn’t think I was a sex symbol,” I said sternly, punching Kyle when he stopped for the light.

All four males turned to me as if they’d practiced it. Their expressions were identical, as if to say, Go on living in denial because you obviously aren’t wise enough to live in the real world. My interpretation might be a bit cynical.

My darling Fiona,” Rory said in a patronizing tone. “You have six brothers and yet you continue to amaze me at how oblivious you are to the inner workings of the male mind. Shocking. Very. You lot are useless,” he chided Kyle and Rich. “Didn’t teach her a damn thing about men. What were you thinking?”

Kyle laughed. Rich blushed. “Considering how we all are, we figured maybe she was better off not knowing.”

Now I’m very interested! How y’all are? Hmm? I hear a story there.”

Suffice to say, your brothers might have been Boy Scouts, but we weren’t choir boys.”

From A Novel Romance

But enough about siblings and children (sort of?) on to higher brain function. Lionel Pettigrew is a college professor, and a certified genius. He’s so smart, he makes smart people look dumb. He’s recently met Arista, who has been hired as his new research assistant. At the moment, he’s at a boring conference and finds himself in need of entertainment, so he texts Arista.

Arista got a text message a moment later. Grinning, she showed the attachment to Monica. Lionel had taken a picture of the people at the meeting. All of them looked asleep, including the speaker. She and Monica laughed about it as they went back to their offices.

“I’m surprised he knows how to use the camera,” Monica said. “Let alone save and send it.”

“He’s probably playing with his phone functions out of desperation. He never needed to learn it before. I bet he knows more about it when he gets back than the two of us do together.” They all had the same model of phone.

She got another text message, this time without a picture. “I am losing higher brain functions. I just forgot Ancient Macedonian.”

“Ask him a question,” she sent back.

“What should I ask?”

“What’s he talking about?”

“I dunno. Stuff.”

“Make something up. Totally off the wall. You’re a genius. Act like one.”


“U betcha.”

There was a pause. A few minutes later, Arista got another text.

“Me: Dr. White, what do you think of the work of Dr. Qui? Dr. White: Dr. Who? Me: Qui. Dr. White: Who’s that? Me: Nothing, sorry. Something else entirely. Carry on.”

“Evil genius,” Arista replied.

“He’s winding it up early. I broke his train of thought. Boohoo. Crap, he’s asking me who Dr. Qui is. Got 2 Go.”

“Spanked by your own brilliance.”

© 2018 Dellani Oakes

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Stay tuned next month when one of us will be talking more about sarcasm. I had a list, but ironically, I can’t find it. Until then, enjoy our daily offerings and please be sure to follow all Cereal Authors on Facebook, Twitter, etc. It will make us happy, and trust me, you want us happy….

Character Quotes, Dellani Oakes

Character Quotes from Conduct Unbecoming by Dellani

conduct front cover“Why are you calling on my day off?” Joel asked, bellowing over loud rock music.

“Tell ya about it when you pick me up, cuz. I need a ride. I’m at Old Fort Park.”

“Be there in five.” He hung up.

Good to his word, Joel pulled up in his bright blue, souped up Honda Civic. Teague got in, wrinkling his nose.

“This car is an embarrassment, Joel.”

“What’s wrong with Blue Bell?”

“The name, for starters. Gay.”

Joel stopped abruptly at the corner. “If you don’t like my ride, you can walk home.”

“Sorry I insulted the ugliest car on Earth.”

The car lurched to a stop in the middle of the street.

“I lied, it’s not the ugliest,” Teague replied. “Could we not? I just got shot at.”

© 2017 Dellani Oakes

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Character Quotes, Dellani Oakes

Character Quotes from One More Night by Dellani

character-quotes-imageI was glad when morning came. I’d slept very badly and didn’t want to stay in bed anymore. A hot shower put me in a better mood, but I was still fuzzy and muddled when I got downstairs. Gazing out at the gray sky and leaden ocean, I noticed a flash of color on my back deck. It was lined with pots of Brazilian Wine Red Allamandas! I ran to the sliding glass door leading to the deck, but didn’t open it. I stared with my nose pressed to the glass.

It occurred to me to call the police, but what would I tell them? Someone broke onto my deck during the night and brought a bunch of potted plants? Did I have a stalker? How often did stalkers bring foliage? It was creepy and charming all at once. I couldn’t decide which took precedence. I guess it depended upon whether I chose to enjoy the gesture or be repulsed by it. For the time being, I chose to think it was charming, but I was horribly curious why he didn’t just come up to the door and knock.

Someone rang the bell.

© 2017 Dellani Oakes

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Character Quotes, Dellani Oakes

Character Quotes from Man Tails by Dellani

character-quotes-image“Your mom’s right,” Luke said casually, not looking at her. “Jet’s a nice guy—friendly, smarter than anyone I know, single.”

“You always eaves drop on conversations?” She wasn’t sure if she should be angry or not. The house was still fairly empty and sound traveled well.

“Nah, just caught snatches.” He turned around, smiling at her. “I know that a guy like Jet doesn’t come along every day. He even admires your work and is studying film. If that doesn’t make you a perfect match, I don’t know what does.”

Callista blushed. “I’m not asking him out.”

“I’m not telling you to. But I’m saying if he should, possibly, maybe ask you—you’d do well to say yes.”

“He’s not going to ask me. We just met.”

Luke winked at her. “My boy ain’t shy,” he said with finality. “And if he lets a woman as pretty and smart as you get off his radar, then he’s a twatwaffle.”

Callista laughed loudly. “Mind if I use that sometime?”

“Go for it, babe. No one ever thought I was quotable before.” He went back to work.

© 2018 Dellani Oakes

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Character Quotes, Dellani Oakes

Character Quotes from Set for Love by Dellani

character-quotes-image“So, all y’all work for the theatre?” Bern asked.

“Everyone except Stacy and Suzie,” Hope replied. “Suzie lives with Colt.”

“Bastard landlord raised my rent twice in six months,” Suzie said with a frown. “Shaine and Brent let me move in until we can move into our new place.”

“We bought into one of the remodeled warehouses downtown. Suzie’s brother, Stan, works for the company who’s doing the remodel and got us a great price.”

“Of course, I had to sleep with Stan’s boss,” Suzie said with a smirk and a flip of her hair.

Colt laughed, kissing her. “She’s kidding. It was just a blow job.”

Suzie elbowed him in the ribs.

“Kidding about that, too,” Colt grunted.

© 2017 Dellani Oakes

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Character Quotes, Dellani Oakes

Character Quotes from Crippled by Love by Dellani

character-quotes-image“You were snooty?” Cynthia asked, hardly able to believe it.

“The snootiest,” Yarrow admitted. “I was such a twatwaffle, it’s embarrassing.”

“I can attest to that,” Fritz said with a sly grin.

“You’re an expert on me now?” Yarrow bridled slightly.

“No. An expert on twatwaffles. And you were the twattiest of the waffles.”

“Thanks. A lot. Appreciate it.”

“Hurt his feelings,” Fritz pointed his thumb at Ian.

“It’s one thing to insult myself. I don’t need your help.”

“Oh, but I do it so well!”

Yarrow chuckled, punching his friend.

© 2017 Dellani Oakes

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Character Quotes, Dellani Oakes

Character Quotes from Something New by Dellani

character-quotes-image“After all the sights I’ve shown you. Super novas in the beta quadrant.”

“That was just the light bulb going in one of the lamps.”

“Meteor shower in Sol Bea.”

“Styrofoam rocks hurled at us from the catwalk.”

“Bloody hell, I’m useless.”

“Almost entirely,” she replied, pushing him back against the couch.

© 2017 Dellani Oakes

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Character Quotes, Dellani Oakes

Character Quotes from Fragrance Lingers by Dellani

character-quotes-image“Try it on,” Auria told her excitedly, leading her to the dressing room.

“I hope it fits!”

“Unless your weight has changed dramatically, it will fit like a glove. It was made for you.”

“Really?” Mara struggled out of her shorts and tank top carefully putting on the dress, zipping it up the side. “It’s perfect,” she breathed. “Absolutely perfect.”

She walked out of the dressing room and stood before Auria. Her face was flushed with delight, her eyes sparkling.

“Now there’s a dress!” Auria declared, clasping her hands together delightedly. “I do believe that is the most beautiful dress I’ve ever made!”

“You made this? For me?”

“With you in mind, to be sure. Your mother told me the kind of things you like, and what your favorite colors are. I knew this dress would be special.”

“It’s magnificent, Auria! I’ll take it!”

© 2017 Dellani Oakes

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Character Quotes, Dellani Oakes

Character Quotes from Hooked on Love by Dellani

character-quotes-imageKael grinned at me again. “What are you thinking about, Penny?”

My turn to shrug casually. “Nothing really. Wondering what you’d look like with—hair.”

Tossing his head back, he laughed loudly, putting his whole body into it. His green eyes twinkled and he smirked at me, shaking his head.

“That’s very good. A complete fabrication, but still good.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I tossed my hair again, flipping it over my shoulder as I picked up the tray. “I told you exactly what I was thinking.”

I hadn’t and he knew it. I couldn’t let him know exactly what I was thinking, could I? Besides, I felt like teasing him.

“Okay,” he said with the same inflection I do when I don’t believe the writers.

© 2018 Dellani Oakes

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