SARCASM IS A COMIC TOOL USED IN LITERATURE. MY BOOKS ARE FULL OF SARCASTIC BITING WITT —THIS IS A SKILL LAURA EMPLOYS REGULARLY WHEN DEALING WITH PEOPLE SHE DOESN’T LIKE –SPECIFICAL STELLA STADYLMEYER!
AS SEEN IN DEAD MEN DON’T SWING AND LEFT FOR DEAD STELLA IS A GREAT FOIL FOR LAURA.
FROM DEAD MEN DON’T SWING
“Ya know Stella, you’re usually an astute woman but right now you are down to two brain cells and they are limping. I am only going to say this once so listen closely! You can shove your eulogy! I don’t know the guy. The other tenants aren’t being forthcoming with details except for stuff I refuse to put in a tribute to the dead man. I also don’t have the time for this crap and it’s not my job.”
LEFT FOR DEAD–PETE IS DEALING WITH THUGS WANTING THEIR MONEY OR ELSE
Pete managed to garble out some words, “Let go Walter!”
“Yeah Walter, let him go so he can beg. I want to hear him grovel before I teach him a lesson in punctuality of payments and a thing or two about loyalty.”
Walter let go, but pushed Pete to a submissive kneeling position in front of Lewis Parker. Mr. Parker had helped himself to a kitchen chair and was leaning his forearms across the back of it, so he was eye to eye with his prey.
“Now, Pete when I tell you a date by which I need a payment, it is not a suggestion, it’s pretty much set in stone.”
“I know Lew.” Pete uttered.
“Let’s not get too familiar here, it’s not a social call. We’re discussing your unwillingness to cooperate and not having a beer at Tony’s.”
“Fine …. Mr. Parker!” Pete spat out. “I’m sorry I’m late, but I got laid off. You know, no work no pay.” Pete was letting his sarcasm slip out. He knew it might get him killed to say too much, but these goons were annoying him by not listening. If he had to go out, he would go out fighting.
“I’m not interested in the excuses Peter. Just pay what you owe and I’ll be out of your hair.”
“And if I don’t?” There went his mouth again but he couldn’t help it.
“Well that’s easy really, if you refuse to pay I’m going to let Walter here take a few chunks out of your hide.”
Peter had made the mistake of not taking Mr. Parker seriously and Walter went to work on him.
Peter took the beating as a sign not to mess with these people again. Mom always told him gambling was the work of the devil and damn it if she wasn’t right.
DAYTONA DEAD LAURA DEALS WITH CREEPY COP DAVE MEECHAM AT THE PHOTO KIOSK
“Ok, this is getting old really fast. Do you have an odd fixation with following tourists around? Or are you just being a jerk?”
“Mrs. Fitz, dear, no need for a meltdown. I just happen to be at the same photo kiosk as you “
“Ya, I bet!”
“Oh my, someone is paranoid.” he laughed, “Maybe you really are guilty of that guy’s murder and used the road kill scenario as a cover up. Maybe, you staged it to divert attention. I may have to take my thoughts on this to the detective on the case.”
People were staring at us and backing away out of the store. The police officer was in his civvies and couldn’t do anything at that point. He was grinning evilly, thinking he was getting the better of me.
I stood straight up, “Too late Fife, we’ve been cleared of all charges so don’t even go there.”
His weasel-like face turned bright red, “Quit calling me Fife, my first name isn’t even Barney! It’s Dave, Dave Meecham. With that he turned and stomped away from the kiosk.