Character Quotes

Character Quotes from Thermometers and Therapy by Dellani Oakes

character-quotes-image“Did you need something else?”

“I was just going to wait with you until your assistant showed up.”

“No assistant today. He’s been sent to Jamaica, or Haiti, or some fucking island. Visa trouble, since his husband died. The regular doctor is on her extended honeymoon. I said I’d take this for her. Of course, I was walking at the time. And I have the shambling hoard out there….” Shaking his head, he unlocked the reception area.

“I’m a medical assistant—at Wright and Carver. Certified and everything.”

“Why should I believe that?”

She reached into a shopping bag. “I was just picking up copies of my certification from the printer down the street. And I needed to come here for shots.”

“Why do you need shots?”

“I have to go to Jamaica or Haiti, or some damn island,” she teased. Extracting a manila envelope, she handed it to him.

© 2018 Dellani Oakes

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Sassy Sarcasm

Irony, Thy Name Is…. by Dellani Oakes


I live on the east coast of Florida, where it rains—a lot. Ironically, like most Floridians, I don’t own a raincoat. Nor do I always have a serviceable umbrella. I qualify the umbrella, because most of us have one that’s beat to hell, won’t open, won’t close, or has holes the size of Idaho. We carry these, not for precipitation protection, but in the hopes that if we have it with us, it won’t rain. This works zero percent of the time. However, it makes us feel better.

Though we may not have raincoats or umbrellas, we usually have tires with a good tread, and quality windshield wipers. Believe me, it sucks to be caught in the rain with bald tires and torn wiper blades.

To further the irony of our existence, this is called The Sunshine State. It says it on everything. The Sunshine State. What they fail to add to that slogan is: It’s the Sunshine State, unless it’s 3:00 in the afternoon in the summer, then it’s the Rain State. That might last a couple hours, occasionally longer, and turn sunny once more. However, if Mother Nature is really feeling bitchy, we turn into the Lightning Capitol of the United States. Another fun fact, the stretch from Titusville west to Tampa is called Lightning Alley. Isn’t that a comfort? (Apparently the lighting capitol of the world is in Rwanda. Lucky them.)

Not that it really pertains, but since we’re talking about Fun Florida Facts, New Smyrna Beach (not too far from me) is the shark bite capitol of the world. You’d think it would be somewhere like the Great Barrier Reef, right? Nope. Fortunately, they aren’t as frequent as you might think. In fact, I found an article which listed some interesting facts about shark attacks.

Obviously, I’ve focused more on irony today, than on sarcasm. Why? Well…because my sarcasm seems to be temporarily out of commission. I’ve tried! Really! But it steadfastly digs in its heels, pouts, crosses its arms, and refuses to behave—rather like an angry two year old.

I hope that when it’s my turn again, in a few months, I will have more sassy sarcasm to share. But today, you learned a thing or two—not the least of which Floridians don’t know how to get in out of the rain. Perhaps we’ve all been hit by lightning?

© Dellani Oakes 2019

Character Quotes

Character Quotes from My Lifeguard by Dellani Oakes

character-quotes-image“I am Georgian,” Magda stated.

“I’m guessing you don’t mean the state somewhat north of here,” Drew replied.

“You’re a silly boy. Of course not. I mean the one near Russia.”

“I dated a girl from Georgia once.”

“The state somewhat north of here?”

“The very one. She married my college roommate.”

“You have much misfortune with women. Are you bad in bed?”

“Try me and find out.”

“You have the good equipment? It not—dinky winky?” She held her fingers an inch or so apart.”

“Don’t tell me you haven’t checked.” Drew glared at her, somewhat annoyed by this line of conversation.

© 2018 Dellani Oakes

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Character Quotes

Character Quotes from Author of Love by Dellani Oakes

character-quotes-imageWe ate in silence for a few minutes, savoring our food. It was quite good and I sent my compliments to the chef when the waitress came to check on us.

“Thank you. I’ll be sure to convey your remarks.” She stepped closer, bending over slightly. “I apologize for bothering you, but several members have asked for autographs. Perhaps pictures?”

“Of me? Oh, hell. Does everyone recognize me?”

“Mrs. Cooke did a book signing here. There was a four foot poster of the cover on either end of her table. I imagine they do.”

I wanted to swear. It was all I could do not to say the words my mama used to wash my mouth for. Not that it did a lick of good. I swear like a truck driver.

“Could we not, please? We’re just trying to have a quiet meal.” I pulled her a little closer. “This is only our second date, Simone. It’s kind of embarrassing knowing that all these women have seen my ass and she hasn’t yet.”

Simone burst out laughing, covering her mouth with both hands. “I’ll tell my boss. Sorry. Sorry!” She scurried off.

“Your ass?” Grace said, leaning toward me.

“The cover of Regina Cooke’s book is one of our more explicit. It’s an erotic romance set here in Florida. It’s called The Pirate’s Treasure Trail, or something equally as stupid. They wanted to do a full frontal, but I put my foot down. Only one woman at a time gets to see that treasure. However, I’m virtually naked, with a lot of leg, ass and abs showing. I’ve got a copy of it. I’ll show you sometime.”


“It has some hot scenes in it,” I remarked as I took a bite of my food. “And I added to my repertoire. Of course, some of the things they do are completely impossible, but they sound wicked hot. I like reading the sex scenes in the books, even if I don’t like the rest of the story. Well written porn is still well written porn.”

I’m not sure I could have surprised her more if I’d hopped up and stripped. Well, might have done at that…. But she was sorta shocked. That was okay, though. She looked interested, not disgusted, and that was, after all, the point.

“You’re full of surprises, Blake.”

“I’m full of something,” I replied, smirking.

© 2018 Dellani Oakes

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Among the Shine Clan, Dellani Oakes

Among the Shine Clan—Part 26 by Dellani Oakes

among the shine clan coverFiddlestix and her companions have arrived in the Harlich territory, only to find that the former leader has died. His son, Karl the Fifth, is now in charge. Unsure of her welcome, Fiddlestix hesitates.

Karl chuckled. “We have both forgotten our manners. Your friends probably don’t speak a word of Dutch, and here we are babbling incoherently while they wait patiently for us to stop.”

He switched to English, reaching across his massive desk, shaking hands first with Blacksmith and then with Buzzard. “I am Karl Fumler, but I expect you know that.”

“Dario Estiban,” Blacksmith said simply.

“Tyree Delsin,” Buzzard supplied.

“Welcome to you both. So, back to why you are here,” Karl sat at the desk, folding his hands in front of him in a gesture like his father.

“We had such a time getting here, I nearly forgot our errand,” Fiddlestix said with a laugh “I come on behalf of another party. His wife is missing, and he asked the three of us to come and leave a message for her, with you.”

“I don’t know how I can possibly be of any help, Hannah. But I shall be happy to convey a message if I can. Who is the woman?”

“Her name is Scarlet Obert Varin.”

His expression hardened slightly, but he kept his aplomb. “And the message?” His manner of speech got very clipped.

“He asked me to repeat his message exactly: Tell them to have Scarlet contact me in the old way.

“That was the extent of it? And for this you three risked your lives? Ridiculous! You could have called me for a message like that!”

“No, I couldn’t, Karl. We both know that you wouldn’t have spoken to me on the phone. Any message I might have left for you wouldn’t have been delivered.”

He couldn’t contradict her, they both knew the truth.

“Varin, he sincerely wants to hear from his wife?”

“Yes,” Blacksmith interjected. “Mr. Varin worries for her safety. When he was unavailable, Mrs. Varin went into hiding.”

Karl nodded sagely. It was a familiar enough scenario in these uncertain times. “I’ve never met Scarlet,” he replied simply. “However, I do know those who might. I will see what I can find out for you. I’ll circulate the message. Scarlet will contact her husband if she is able. Now that you’ve dispatched your errand….” He seemed ready to launch into a long conversation.

“Karl, we’re rather tired. May we stay until midday?” Fiddlestix asked kindly. “Most of the Noir will be asleep by then.”

“Very well. If you like, I can send a few men with you. The Noir don’t disturb us.”

“Why don’t you move against them?”

“I can’t declare war on them when they’ve not harmed us. The second they step across that line, Baker and his bevy of lunatics will die.”

He took another deep breath, preparing a rant, if Fiddlestix didn’t miss her bet. Instead of allowing it, she cut him off again.

“Karl, if you don’t mind, I think my associates and I could use a bath and a meal.”

He chuckled. “Of course. I apologize, it’s been so long since I saw you. All your needs will be seen to, Hannah. You will all be guests in my home. Please, follow me.”

He led them to a beautiful, Tudor style house. Fiddlestix’ eyes glittered as she gazed at her old home. It was just as she remembered. It was a rambling, solid home with a high and big windows. Flowering vines clung to the walls and two massive trellises flanked the front door. These were covered with dark red roses and confederate jasmine. It looked so much the same, it made Fiddlestix want to sob with homesickness.

© 2018 Dellani Oakes

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Character Quotes

Character Quotes from Fragrance Lingers by Dellani Oakes

character-quotes-image“What strikes your fancy, Mara? Do you like seafood?” Cole asked.

“I eat just about anything,” she grinned. “As long as it’s not kicking or bleeding, I’m willing to try it.”

“Same thing apply to the men in your life?” Cole quipped, then looked a little embarrassed.

“Way to stick your foot in your mouth, Cole!” Red clapped him on the back. “That’s his none too subtle way of asking if you’re seeing anyone,” Red translated. “As a man who is firmly in a committed relationship, I would never venture to ask. Cole, on the other hand, is a free agent.” He winked at his friend’s consternation.

“Thanks, Red. I’ll remember to tell Becky that next time I talk to her.”

“Go ahead, she knows how I feel about her. Why the woman won’t marry me, I truly do not know.”

“Have you asked her?” Mara couldn’t help herself.

“Lately?” Red thought about that a minute. “Not for a few months. I’m due to ask again when I get home, I think. Maybe this time she’ll come to her senses and say yes.”

“And maybe,” Cole interjected, “she’ll come to her senses and move out.”

“You’d know better than I would,” Red was devoting his attention to the band, casually ignoring Cole. “She’s your sister.”

“No one ever said good sense ran in our family,” Cole said, nudging his friend.

© 2018 Dellani Oakes

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Character Quotes, Conduct Unbecoming

Character Quotes from Conduct Unbecoming by Dellani Oakes

conduct front cover“Can I go in there?” Teague asked the officer with him.

They stood in the viewing room behind the two way mirror. Teague hadn’t been allowed in the interrogation room with his friends. Since he refused to leave, he was given permission to watch.

“I can’t let you do that, Mr. McMurtry. I’m sorry.”

“Please.” He watched Nadeya’s body language. “She’s going to close up on him any second. Neil’s impatient. So is Nadeya. The difference is, she can kill him in about a thousand different ways. Please. I can diffuse this.”

Nadeya’s body stiffened. Neil stood, running his hand through his hair. He turned his back on her and she sat up. Teague knew something would happen if he didn’t intercede. He tapped on the glass. Both heads snapped around a the sound. Nadeya’s face registered surprise. Neil’s held shock and alarm.

Teague tapped his name in Morse Code on the glass and saw Nadeya visibly relax. Neil’s frown deepened. He knew Morse Code too. He and Teague had learned it together one summer for fun. He gestured abruptly toward the glass, pointing to the spot where Teague stood. He motioned for Teague to be brought in the room.

“You’re just going to cause trouble until you get a front row seat,” he groused when Teague walked in.

“Trying to keep my friends from killing one another.”

Teague didn’t think it was possible, but he watched Neil’s brow furrow more deeply.

“You’re kidding, right? She’s unarmed. I have a weapon.”

“No offense, Neil. You’re a good cop. But I can spot a dozen different ways to disarm and kill you. Nay’s seen at least twice that. She taught me nearly all I know, but not all she does.”

© 2018 Dellani Oakes

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Character Quotes

Character Quotes from I’m the Nanny by Dellani Oakes

character-quotes-image“What exactly do you do?” Mitch asked.

“I go to the office and find out what they intend to do with their computer system. I analyze their needs and put together suggestions for the sales department. Then someone talks to them, sells it to them and I go back and train them how to use it,” Jade replied.


“It can be. Unless I have to deal with people like Sheree. I can’t tell you how nasty she was to me.”

“Want to know why?”

“Yeah. I didn’t understand it. I went in politely and professionally, and she hated me on sight!”

“You’re a lot prettier than she is. She hated the competition. Sheree likes to be the center of attention. With you in the room, they wouldn’t be looking at her.”

“She’s that shallow? Sheesh. You’re lucky she dumped you. How could you put up with a bitch like that?”

“Believe me, I’ve asked myself that more than once. I guess we’d been together so long, I felt like I owed her.”

© 2018 Dellani Oakes

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Character Quotes

Character Quotes from Indian Summer Revisited by Dellani Oakes

character-quotes-imageMalin went to his last class in a daze. He went through his short presentation on semi-automatic, telling all the basic facts about his project, babbling the names and dates in a dull monotone.

“Well,” Dr. Hennessey replied after he finished. “You sound positively thrilled with your subject.” He eyed the class. “Don’t you all agree?”

“Malin, that was the worst presentation you’ve ever made!” Silvia, another history major interjected.

“The time I ran down the mailbox with my grandfather’s Caddie was more interesting,” Hinton, a short, chubby junior said.

“Thanks,” Malin said stiffly. “Thanks a lot.”

“I said choose something to get excited about, not something to put us all to sleep.”

“I am interested in this. What do you want me to do?”

“Pick one and focus on him.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Pick your favorite governor and study him in depth. This other way, you’re making a grocery list.”

“Okay,” Malin shrugged, suddenly very embarrassed. “You’ve made your point, Doc.”

© 2018 Dellani Oakes

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Character Quotes

Character Quotes from Double Trouble by Dellani Oakes

character-quotes-image“He came up so clean, I could wipe my ass with him. Which is why I didn’t believe it and still don’t. Trouble is, I haven’t gotten any further.”

“Could you see what you can dig up on him? He’s got this girl spooked. I’m working this end, but if we’ve got two on it….”

“So much the better, yeah. No problem, kid. What’s that no-count brother of yours doing?”

“Providing the broad shoulder at the moment. Client’s scared, Bob. I have a feeling we’re gonna be doing babysitting duty.”

“Just make sure that don’t include baby making duty,” Bob chided. “I know how you young studs think. With your dick and balls.”

Chay chuckled, lamenting the lack of stimulation along those lines, unless he was flying solo.

“You just make sure that baby brother of yours behaves himself.”

“I’m my brother’s keeper in a lot of ways, Bob. Who he sleeps with isn’t one of them.”

“Lord, I know it! Never could control mine either. I’ll see what I can find out on Dakota. Good luck and keep me posted.”

“Will do. Thanks, Uncle Bob.”

“No problem, kid. Glad to help.”

© 2018 Dellani Oakes

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