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AN INTERVIEW WITH NIGEL HOLMES FROM HOLMES IN AMERICA

 

.0example-2bI RECENTLY SAT DOWN AND HAD A CHAT WITH ONE OF MY CHARACTERS, NIGEL HOLMES.

NIGEL HOLMES IS A BRITISH POLICE OFFICER SENT TO TORONTO AFTER A WITNESS WAS BRUTALLY MURDERED ON HIS WATCH.
KRISTEN SHERLOCK IS A DETECTIVE WHO WAS FRAMED FOR DRUG POSSESSION AND IS BEING HARRASSED BY A DIRTY COP BENT ON RUING HER
NIGEL IS POLITICALLY INCORRECT AND SWEARS LIKE A TRUCKER
KRISTEN IS A BY THE BOOK POLICE OFFICER.
CAN THEY WORK TOGETHER WITHOUT DRIVING EACH OTHER NUTS BEFORE HER STALKER HURTS KRISTEN
NIGEL, KRISTEN AND HER FORMER PARTNER CRAIG WORK TO BRING THE STALKER DOWN.

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Can the Andrew Dice Clay of British detectives get in touch with his inner nice guy when banished to Toronto? One can only hope the renowned politeness of his new Canadian colleagues rubs off on him and quick once this defective detective opens his mouth to speak.

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Why did you come to Canada?

I was sent here to learn to be a better police officer. A witness who was also my lover was murdered by a crazed serial killer on my watch. They didn’t fire me outright but banished me to the shores of lake Ontario.

How do you like it so far?

The people are polite for the most part but i can do with out the extreme weather.  It’s a fecking sweatbox in the summer and feels like Siberia in the winter.

What do you think of your partner, officer Sherlock?

The woman is a prude.  I can’t use any bad language or even mention sex in front of her.  I think she’d be better off if she just slept with Craig Eversley, her former partner. I know he’d love to.

What do you do when you are not working?

I spent the first two months studying Canadian policing policies, practicing at the firing range and learning to drive like a Canadian.  I have to tell ya, you people drive like maniacs. What this city needs is a few roundabouts

 

How is the food? Is it different than British food?

I have to say also that Canadian beer is cool but there’s nothing like a good stout to put hair on your chest. As for the food. I eat out at pubs a lot as its more like back home in Manchester.  I can’t cook much beyond eating tv dinners and that gets old quick.

 

What do you like or not like about the job?

Patrolling and radar stops are the worst. Torontonians have and attitude about driving. Not only are they maniacs but they seem to think they own the frelling road.  I went on a stakeout with Craig Eversley a couple of nights. That was exciting until one of the guys working in one of the warehouses got caught in the crossfire during a shootout.

 

Who is Paul Langley?

He is a filthy cop not worthy of being a human. Worse than the cow dung on someone’s shoe.  He is determined to ruin Kristen’s career and then kill her and Eversley.

I heard he was killed, who did it?

At a Christmas party for the force Langley crashed it with a couple of goons. They held me at gun point but Kristen saved my hide. She stormed through the crowd and shot Langley point blank right between the eyes.

What are your plans for the future?

I was planning to go back to Manchester and resume my work at home but Kristen and Craig went to bat for me and i got a permanent transfer to metro police. Based on my reformed behavior and good deeds i also got reinstated as a detective but will have to take the Canadian sergeants exam, Santa was good to me

Do you have any romantic interests?

I just met a girl named Maria. She is Kristen’s next door neighbour.  She is a lovely woman. She only wanted to be friends as we both thought i would go home in the new year. Now that i am staying put anything can happen.

pizap.com14746623992701.jpgYou can buy Holmes in America on Amazon for $2.99

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